小高粱

我的最後半瓶高粱在辦公室。

為什麼要有軟體工程架構? 是避免日後需求一再更改，影響工程師身心健康，因為有架構，在修改自己程式時會覺得容易，也會讚嘆自己的程式。

另外我也和新加坡同事分享，趕工程進度的神奇配方，加一兩個shot在下午的那杯咖啡，多半的困難都能順利解決。

在家工作已經快要兩個月，難得去辦公室一趟測試機器，心情是愉悅的，可以把高粱帶回家。

狂旅行之卯起來應付

20181117
出社會都20年，應付這個世界我還是可以的，只是沒辦法卯起來應付.
出了機場第一件事是租車，卡好不斷詳細檢查兩台車的每一個細節，深怕胎紋少了0.1公分，都是一種嚴重吃虧，好不容易檢查完了，比我們年長七歲的阿培說話了，培董是作大生意的，比我們更有人生經驗，”不對喔，這個胎紋，有點平耶“，等到所有男人都聚集在一起看的時候已經變成，根本就沒有胎紋了，馬的，要把小費要回來，卡好很快地軟硬兼施，就換好一台車胎完美，其他也都完美的另一台幾乎新車.
我是沒資格應付這個世界的，但是從15歲開始，我就很愛看卡好處理這些事，一路上我們從來沒有超過虧，完美.
幾天後那台有完美的車胎的車，在高速公路兩個交流道的正中央爆胎了.除了卡好跳起來說明在美國高速公路爆胎是很危險的，
我們還爭論著本來那台應該也是會爆，說不定還爆在交流道旁邊，比較方便.
美國的修車場五點就關，剩下幾分鐘的時間，善心人士的到來，卡好完美的交涉，我們完全不耽誤計畫的，繼續前進. 卡好15歲時候就會處理這些,世界的事，卯起來的那一種.

狂旅行之卡好變種人

2018年11月17日
卡好急著帶我們去體驗他的人生，接下來是###############，不能講，這犯法，後面是###############也不能講，不道德。

2001年底 我們開的那間奇怪的公司，因為太成功而倒閉了，卡好的人生就此產生劇烈的變化，一張看破一切的機票，飛到美國中部，只因為老黑和白毛就在哪裡，他去唸一個研究所，卡好唸MBA這件事本身就是超現實，卡好說我亂講，那是他人生第一次念書。中學那些在課堂上睡的覺，其實都沒關係的，人生總是可以力挽狂瀾的。其實也沒那麼順利，###############，不能講，又犯法了。

這邊犯的法都是以無知的台灣人角度看這件事，美國是合法的。

為了逆轉勝，畢業後的卡好，無論如何都得要留在美國，即便在三千公里外的紐約，也要帶著西裝，堅持開車前往，白毛和卡好24小時輪流開，卡好累了就換白毛，白毛累了，就路邊停下來兩個一起睡，卡好醒了一邊抱怨一邊繼續開。

最後的人生落腳在LA，白毛一起到這裡發展，Bart後面也來了，天使城讓他遇到了Elise，還讓他最終成為銀行的副總裁，實踐小時候的夢想，放高利貸，還是合法的，這次。

卡好急著和我們展示他的人生，##############################。

November 17, 2018

Cahow was so excited to take us to experience his life, the next is ##################, can not tell, because this is illegal, followed by ############# #### Can't tell either, it's immoral.

The weird company we ran at the end of 2001 had closed down because it was too successful, 

and Cahow changed his life drastically.

He bought a ticket that would change his life and flew to the central United States, just because OB and Maco were there.

 He paid to study a master’s degree in business.

The fact is that Cahow had studied MBA very hard. He has asked me to say so because it’s true. 

It doesn't matter if you sleep too much in classes in high school, life can always turn the tide. In fact, this was not so smooth for him - ##################, can't tell, it's illegal again.

(I must say that it’s only illegal from a Taiwanese point of view.)

In order to reverse his destiny, after graduation, he tried very hard to stay in the United States.

Sometimes the job opportunities were  in New York, three thousand kilometers away, so he took a suit with him and insisted on driving. Maco and Cahow were on the road for 24 hours. If Cahow felt tired, he would ask Maco to drive. If Maco felt tired, they would stop the car and sleep together. If Cahow woke up and complained, they would continue driving.  

Finally, Cahow settled in LA. Maco came here to develop his career  too, and Bart also came there. The Angel City made Cahow meet Elise, his wife, and also made him eventually become the vice president of the bank. His childhood dream to give loans with high interest came true, and it was also legal. 

Cahow was excited to show his life to us, ##################################.

Cahow corrected me - it’s not vice president , it’s senior vice president.

狂旅行之出發最後一刻

2018年11月16日
老黑因為小孩不方便請假的原因，決定不和我們去二十年就此一次的次級團體大集合美國之旅，小表因為沒有說服女兒又又，選擇不參加，迪士尼有愛沙顯然不夠力道。
我當然知道這些老朋友的毛病，猶豫病通常會伴隨後悔病，但是多年來一直身為強力說服者，整個人生都一直在說服他人，其實我也有點想吐。

我這輩子根本就是和中華民國男性的發財夢一起成長的，要出發去美國還帶著美國華僑老闆交辦的任務，去說服LA的有錢人，投資我們的未來獨角獸事業。
和投資者的簡報，我有超過100場的經驗，反正不是開會前喝紅牛，就是喝紅酒。激發超能力，眼框泛紅，慷慨激昂。最終去說服投資者那件事，可能糟蹋了紅酒，或是便利店的一罐廉價紅牛。

大家能去很好，不能去也不錯。小表最後開車載我們去機場，只要在台灣範圍內，他都能夠說服女兒又又參加。我和又又說，你不去我就不見愛沙了，努力淡化，想要說服的內在力量。

November 16, 2018

OB decided that he would not go with us on this trip to the United States, and this trip only happens once in 20 years. Owen couldn’t go either since he couldn’t convince his daughter. His biggest problem is that he can never convince anybody to do anything. Or he doesn’t want to. Actually, it is Disney’s character Elsa’s fault. She couldn’t help him to convince his daughter. "

Of course I am aware of the problems of these old friends. Hesitation is usually accompanied by regret, but for many years I have been a strong persuader and I have been persuading others throughout my life. In fact, I am a bit sick of that.

In my life, I grew up with the fortune dreams of men of the Republic of China. When I set off to the United States, I took the tasks assigned by the Republic of China boss to convince the rich  in LA to invest in our future unicorn entrepreneurship. 

I have much experience with investor briefings, anyway, either accompanied by drinking Red Bull before the meeting or drinking red wine, using super powers, making my eyes red and being passionate. In the end, I might ruin the wine, or the cheap red bull from a convenience store.

It ’s good for everyone to go, it ’s not bad not to go either. Owen  finally drove us to the airport. As long as it was within Taiwan, he could persuade his daughter to do that. I told his daughter that I wouldn’t meet Elsa anyway, so there is no need for her to regret.

But, in my mind, I still had strong motivation to persuade her.

狂旅行之前

2018年11月15日
這一趟我們是要去美國找卡好和白毛的，出發的前一天白毛的老姊Fion，要我去找她一趟，可以幫她帶點東西給白毛。我特別和她說不要再讓我帶一次棉被，其他都可以。

我們從15歲開始就聽著，Fion的各種傳奇，種種對生活的理解，顯得我們的生活土裡吧幾，她在美國生活，接近好萊屋，她聽的音樂影響白毛，她看的電影影響白毛，牛鞭效應，最終影響到我。有一回，去白毛家裡吃麵，他遞給我一張餐巾紙，我順手擦嘴，白毛大叫，那個是阿諾史瓦辛格的簽名。阿諾史瓦辛格不寫中文，還真得認不出來。

2000年，Fion和男友史大搬回台北定居，經常叫我去他們家修電腦，每次修的過程，我都想講那句"我是賽車手，老是叫我來修車"，只是沒想到每次修車都是奇遇，和史大一見如故，我天生喜歡失控的人類，史大在這方面無遠佛屆，礙於尺度，我們就講音樂，我熱衷在他的身旁紀錄，身為知名音樂制作人，這些奇奇怪怪的故事。

出發之前，我必須感官全開，敏感度調最大，史大，給我來了一節1985年，Queen的Live Aid幾十萬人演唱會，那年我才十歲，聽都沒聽過，這一年我43歲，不明覺厲，不明白但是覺得很厲害，音樂高潮的時候，史大Fion跟著哼歌，包括最難的那一段歌劇唱法也是，不自覺得猛點頭，散發出的阿法波，連苦讀心理學的我都無法理解，大家都紅了眼眶。
November 15, 2018

On this trip, we are going to the United States to visit Cahow and Maco. The day before the departure,  Maco’s older sister, Fion, had asked me to go to her place to take something for Maco. I specifically told her not to let me bring a quilt again, everything else was fine.

We have been hearing stories about her since we were 15 years old, about Fion's legends and understanding of life.

 She lived in the United States and was close to Hollywood.

 The music she listened to influenced Maco. The movies she watched affected him too.

The bullwhip effect, and ultimately it all affected me.

Once, I went to Maco's place to have noodles. He handed me a napkin, then I wiped my mouth with it, and he yelled. The napkin had Arnold Schwarzenegger's signature. Arnold Schwarzenegger didn’t sign his name in  Chinese, so it was really hard to recognize it.

In 2000, Fion and her boyfriend Dw moved back to Taipei to settle down, and often asked me to go to their place to repair computers.

 Every time I repaired them, I wanted to say "I'm a racer, but you always ask me to repair cars".

It’s just I didn’t expect that, every time I repair a car, it is an adventure. I like humans who are out of control. And DW is good at that . For children’s sake , I will skip the inappropriate parts that are not to be shared online, and go straight to music.  Because he is a well-known music producer, and because of all that follows this occupation, he has many strange stories, but I will not tell them all.

Before I left for the USA, I had to open my senses, adjust the sensitivity to be the highest possible - I was about to go on a magical trip. Dw  showed me a concert in 1985 with Queen ’s Live Aid, with hundreds of thousands of people. 

(That year, I was only ten years old , and I had no chance to comprehend it. I am 43 years old now ,and i still don’t understand it, but I know it’s a big deal.)

 When the music climaxed, Dw and Fion followed it with humming and moving their heads in the rhythm, including the most difficult part of the opera singing. 

I couldn’t understand it  in a scientific way , even if I had already understood the psychology.

Everyone is red-eyed there.

狂旅行之決定出發

2018年6月17日
在了解人生意義之前，是沒有資格在中年失業的，否則會渾身發癢，自尊系統一下過大一下過小，怎麼樣都不能舒服。了解真諦後，預支退休生活一兩年，可以真正地享受人生，不了解的東西會慢慢了解，只是不幸的很，了解的東西也會慢慢不了解。

Bart說這個時候無論如何都要北上和我喝一杯，他知道一間日本人開的酒館。小表向來不會安慰人，但是會一直存在，無論如何也要排除萬難出席。

Bart說我只是運氣不好，解決之道就是應該來一趟他媽的美國旅行。最大的好險是我們都是管他的，作了再說的人種，網路幾分鐘後，就訂好了機票，中年了還猶豫那麼多，不就是為難自己。

發了訊息到了群組，賭徒性格阿培，馬上參加，小表和老黑說要再想一下，猶豫性格，為難自己。

Before understanding the meaning of life,

 you are not eligible for unemployment when you are a middle-aged man, otherwise you will feel itchy.

The ego is either too big or too small - it increases and decreases periodically, and it’s very uncomfortable.

 After understanding the true meaning, 

I realised that you can borrow a couple of years from your retirement life.Then you can enjoy life. The things you don’t understand will become understandable, but unfortunately , the things you had understood will become unclear.

Bart said that at this critical time, he had to go north and have a drink with me.He knew a Japanese tavern.

 Owen does not always comfort people, but he will always be there.

No matter the situation.

Bart said I was just out of luck and the solution was to take a fucking trip to America.

We are lucky , we have the balls, we do things before thinking . We booked the flight in a matter of minutes. 

If we think too much in our age, we struggle.

After sending a message to our group, A-pe, a passionate gambler,  joined immediately. Owen and OB said that they would think about it seriously. I’ve known them my entire life - they plan and think, and after that they struggle anyway.

17-June-2018

尋常壁虎與尋常蟑螂

我做的project很少這麼成功，一出手就準確打斷蟑螂的兩條腿。
剩下的四條腿無力翻身，但是會一直想翻身，這個劇烈動作對壁虎有極強的吸引力，只是個性使然，曖曖內含光，想吃又再三考慮，考慮了兩個多小時，才故意不走直線地衝了過來。
世界末日的時候，我知道尋常的壁虎比尋常的蟑螂大上許多，足以成為一頓晚飯。
專案成功無價，知識也無價，只是殘忍弄殘蟑螂略顯缺德，往後幾天都擔心被報復，餘黨可能故意反覆爬過我們所有的餐具。

是，我見過不尋常的壁虎，和不尋常的蟑螂。

倒車

我只是倒車開得太久也太遠了。

我用的是m4/3系統。
50mm是用來拍對街陌生人的，為了脫離世界。
17mm是用來拍對桌朋友的，為了回到世界。

用力躍起

1997年，當兵第一個單位，是多二連，是個負責打地樁的連隊，學長有云，
到架設連長得高是一種悲哀，因為矮的人爬得快，
但是很不幸的，我們這種矮的人，在多二連沒有重力加速度的幫忙，是一場災難，
我們連隊的英雄都是過一米八五的，越矮越受到歧視，
當兵之人多半不具同理心，白目的要欺負他，過的比自己好的，要說一句"我心裡不平衡"，
還是要想辦法欺負他，
當越久的兵心裡越是扭曲，
正式使用的鐵地樁一根在三十到四十公分，
但是給菜鳥新兵練習的將近一米二，
幾乎達我身高三分之二，
遇到石頭還不能換個地方插，要努力擊破。

前面的菜鳥個個比我高大，一一跳戰失敗，
失敗下場就是打到成功才能休息，力氣耗盡，幾近絕望。

大學聯考的時候，我的物理成績是全國一百名內，我一定可以用智慧戰勝困境，
但是不幸的很，大學四年太過荒廢，實在想不起來這是第幾運動定律，

輪到我時，罵了一聲髒話，扛著鐵鎚，用力往天空躍起，唯一的出路就在於我能跳多高，康、康、康、康、康，五聲完美擊入地面，學長們欣喜若狂，說我破了紀錄，鼓手叫好。

之後每次有長官到來，都要我表演絕學，日後我更演變出單手、單腳等娛樂性質較高的打樁動作，一直到我把十幾公斤的鐵槌甩出去那次為止，
當兵的人一般都笨，但是什麼東西有生命危險還是知道的。

當然我是故意的，這樣下去，豈不累死。

二十多年後，為了測試頸椎開刀後的復原狀態，我再一次用力往天空躍起。

臨時狀態

有時候人生會處於一種臨時的狀態，能夠在臨時狀態怡然自得的人，都是超越常規的奇人。
洪侃上京城辦點大事，特地坐火車60公里來天津看看我。
2016年，荒誕的事一開始有點有趣，後來就什麼都過期了，我正處於一種相當臨時的狀態，什麼都需要忍耐的階段，當時臨時住在任意一間旅館，特地臨時把大床房，改成双床房，他在窗台舒服地抽菸，續辦他的大事，打打電話溝通，或是罵罵人。